Going back into 2018, when I take my degree in Diploma at somewhere that I never imagine before, it is so delightful I met new people, new style, new experiences, best lecturer, and I found my one and only here. Tonight I close the door, open my laptop, looking for the ambience to write and yes of course I play my favorite anthem to write FKJ with his album "Just Piano".
Lately, I do not listen music to much since I was in junior or senior high school. But let me tell you something, if I like it, I will really fall for it. If you all realize the person that I always write here, the person that influence me a lot through his colors. I do not know if he realize it or not, how far I am till this day. I don't even know if he realize one or two things that going inside me besides his history.
What does he do with me? Through his color, now I am talking about melody, he introduce me into something different. Are you smiling over there? Because I am smiling right now, I do always happy when I write about you. Hope you are happy, to read a story of mine.
2018
I am entering my freshman year, the girl that so ambitious with her dreams, she is so in love with details. Even maybe you don't remember how do I look at that time. The only think you could remember maybe it's just me, Transjakarta, Kampung Melayu Station, you walk with me through the fly over, I am letting you in into my life with your ability in speaking. I like the way you speak for the first time when I know you. Speaking with wisdom is different. You told me about Frank Sinatra and Bee Gees, simply because your mom always playing that hits every morning at your house. Well, I do not know both of them exactly. Day by day, it changes something and I try to listen some of their hits.
2019 - 2020
Welcome to the longest ride that I ever felt, the scariest, the busiest, the truth that we both growing up together. I could not believe that we still together at the same class, you still my favorite guy oh come on, who does not love smart guy? Tell me. I am at my first stage making my dreams come true, become Mawapres, and I know I do not have any good skills, except my confident, my debate experiences, and my academic number. I still empty though. So I decide to stop making my dreams come true, I come to see him just to complaining about my life I said...
"I wanna give up this time. I could not make it, it is impossible for me, you do not believe in me right? I am stupid, I can not make it and I want to stop all of those struggles because I'm tired"
Nothing, he did not gave me any response, he is just look into my eyes so deep. He said...
"Well, you know I do not know to make you come back stronger but I hope this song will help you"
He gave me the first song, Cool and Calm by Sticky Fingers. Just like the lyrics inside the song Dylan Frost said..
"...See, sometimes it might seem hard
But you gotta push on to the next frame of mind
Stay with me
We can let this go, you see"
Part of this scene will never be forgotten, the sunlight hit a little bit of my face and he is straightly sit down in front of me while using his uniform his face looks like a little bit tired and confused after the situation. The cafetaria nearby across Apres called Cafe Kebun. I lay down my heads upon the table, feeling sad, frustrated, and confused. I realize something different is coming from me, the feeling is strange, I do denial it.
I'm still asking who am I? Why do I still standing for a long time? All the question start with "Why?"
He open his phone, typing something, making my head up from the table that seems so comfortable for me with his hands gently. He said..
"I hope this song can explain the meaning of you to me" True love by Elephant Kind.
"Something about you that I want
Something about you I don't mind
If I'm gone missing fine me
'Cause I find myself in you..."
It does not stop until there, believe me he introduces me to some locals musician as well. The first time when I went into an afternoon ride with him and blue! He gave me the Matraman song, and all locals jaming the other genre like Indie song, Pop song, Betawi pride, and all about Jakartans Spirit, he is so amazing. Not just a song it's a soul, he gave me a lot of history behind. How can a song create him to be someone like that, and he is so wonderful.
2021 - 2022
This is my last year at University, so we all have to write our proposal and report as our first step into graduation. Sadly I have to come home, and spending most of the time at my house I mean my original house. I fell so far away from him, day by day is just different but I'm trying to reach him over a text, a call, or a video call sometimes. Get out from stuck situation in the middle of pandemic is hard. He is trying to recovery from pandemic, he is losing some creativity and he needs a lot of fresh air to make it back as usual. I miss the time, time when we both spending late night discussion over our laptop, helping you out with journal, and writing tugas akhir, giving you my energy so you could create what you want.
It is our first time listening groove, meanwhile you like something groovy at the first place before me. 2021 when you giving me Ylang Ylang by FKJ and show me to the most beautiful FKJ show at Salar de Uyuni in Bolivia we watched it using google meet and we both spending all night long just to finished our Tugas Akhir. He is typing I am watching, he is writing and I giving him some advice how to write easier. We spend time together almost two months in online. I back to Jakarta when my age is 21, and I celebrating it by myself but he gave me a song A Love Letter From Me To You by Sticky Fingers. He gave me his first letter, unfortunately is not a love letter like Sticky Fingers said hehe. The letter is all good wishes from him to me on my 21.
I could not believe FKJ turns into the biggest musician that I adore, FKJ inspiring me to build my own house like him. To fulfill my house just as simple as that, house that comfy and makes us full of creativity, positive energy, and lots of magic. I am wondering to have my own balcony and space for the light passing thru the window, I am wonder to hosted a private event at my house. Inviting beloved friends, and sharing our story together, laughing and loving. I want to make my own library and outdoor table for enjoying my coffee, or his favorite tea.
2022 - 2023 and still counting
I'm still fall in love with everything, from the story above you all can take a conclusion. When you falling in love for someone, you are not just sharing what you have, but you gave them an energy and positive way to grow up in a better condition and supporting each other dreams. How about mine? I'm still in love and I always be in love with this person, more than a melody it's a soul. Music that fulfill my life since I've been moving here at Jakarta. In a good way, he is always inspiring me, in a good way he is always give me a motivation, in a good way he teaches me to respect and love everything in this world. Music shepherd me, I could not thank you enough for him. From Groovy, Indie, Reggae, and so on.
I hope I can write you a story not just from a music side this time, maybe next time I can write you a story from history side. How the way you creates me from history side? till next time. When I'm going high please remind me, when you going high I will remind you. Because perfection in imperfection, is something to be balanced. Would you please willing to stay when I stepping this stage, and spend our times again to travel the world with music.
With love,
LJ
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