MATILDA

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Wake up by 6:30am while seeing my phone ringing so loud, and I am shocked by what was happened in my dreams, pretty much I can not remember it vividly. I see somewhere I am standing, and joining a small ceremony. But, what it is? I do not know either I could not remember any single story. Weird, it's so weird but I wake up sweaty and so hot, my air conditioning is stand by on 20 degree. 

Last day on vacation time, today is Wednesday. We got to go back to work tomorrow, and yeah I am ready to rock my Thursday. Wow, I read a lot, I write a lot, drafting a lot, and watch some YT videos that causing me types "Jazz while reading" or "Library and writing letters" or "Rain outside and you wait a train" what an indie person. Is fun tho! Realizing that time is slowing down here, or the world just keep turning slowly? 

Snatch me out! Raining outside all day long since last night, I have one appointment to grab some coffee, and by 7pm I got to see the doctor, true! adulting life we go by our own to see the doctor. What a life! 

Then I remember Rafly, my good old days friend he's just being Rafly with his kind of word "Please pray for me" and "Wishing me the best ya" and "Hey I am doing good in life" and "Hai how are you doing Lj?" and "You good?" Rafly is amazing, he has a high intelligence emotions, the way he face the world is so brave, he took the power from everything around and turn it into something called "Relax" or moreover I ask him "Why tho Rafly?" He caught me on every moment in my life, from the bottom to the top, he knew the way, and where he is stand. 

Well Rafly, you are my good friend and I am really happy for everything in your life, down to the pieces, facing the heartbreak, down again, asking a lot about life, asking a lot about people behavior towards you, and seek the meaning of life, at the end your beautiful mantra saves you "It is what it is, we can not control anyone" 

Wake up and reopen my last message with Rafly it's something, this is the most unpredictable person I have ever met, I never going with him with weird laugh and laughing over something, trust me all of the story about us is juts talking about "Daylight in our life" How much we wish a beautiful world in the middle of chaos when he had it sometimes. 

While I write this I heard Matilda over my iPad, I never heard it for a while well I guess been 3 months or more? This song is something for me, the song got me smile and long breathe. Sick of it, I rethink about what was going on lately with my body, my mind, my soul, my brain, and all of me. Matilda is someone that wondering how is the life at the other side of the world? 

For me Matilda is a woman without no hesitation on her life, she is pursuing the life that she wants in life, brave, tough, and create by pure heart, full of forgiveness, summer and winter is her favorite seasons, Jazz is her music, library and little not on her pockets makes her alive, a good coffee in a small cafe at the corner of the street, she loves walk, and talk to stranger on the bus. She loves to go to community that talks about history, movie, and book. 

Matilda is someone that loves going to Museum, hours by hours staring the art and trying to understand the meaning of life and the connection between the past life, she is an academic person, she loves alone without being lonely, she loves people too, I think Matilda now looking for a chance to master degree. 

Nobody knows what's Matilda facing through her hard, nobody knows what's Matilda doing every night on her bedroom, nobody knows what's Matilda thinks while she is walking through neighborhood, nobody knows what's Matilda pursuing and praying for her life and someone she loves the most in her life. Nobody knows what's Matilda big regret in this world, nobody knows what's Matilda trying to fix day by day, nobody knows what's Matilda scared of. 

They just know Matilda have a fine line, hoping her life crossing the path again. 

Test of my patience

Never be in the middle of thunder and storms

But it's always almost at the end of the line

Dear Matilda, your risk is on your own to live or to die after

Right or left, you have no right to decide

Matilda, all life that you've been dreaming will spreading you open 

Love wins he says, right? 

Matilda, keep your life to see the sunshine through your window 


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