A Slice Of Bread

Semarang, 23rd January 2025 Probably I was on the train heading from town to town yesterday, having lunch and dinner in somewhere. But my mind still rounding there, on the last room I attend, the feeling? Yes, I still there stood still in the room full of good memories. Last night I am thinking about this title, letter that I wanted a llt to write, I am sit in front of the huge mirror in the Hotel Room I stayed. Reading some books, and do small meeting even I know my brain was not there.  The last two chapters in past six month. I held a champagne problem on June 2024, April 2024 when we met in Bandung we talked about our journey you told me the girl will marriage soon or later. You asked me to forgive and forget the story between you and the girl. You know what's hard? You do it nearby your house, you cross the line. The most dangerous line, once I thought it will not ever crossed again. But it is. I know how long the path is crossing between you and her, would everything will be ...

Dear god, never have I ever imagined I want to meet you right away in middle of the night. I am happy to hear Ylang Ylang by FKJ playing on my laptop. Dear god can I ask you a question to show me the way and help me out like FKJ found his soul.  God, let me bothering you with my thoughts, let me suffer through every conditions that I deserved in this world. God I make a messy situations along the line. Let me gone through the surface and live something between the line.  What do I live in here, in this world?  Why do I still here? While makes someone disappointed and really falling down the line? I do not know what does he thinks right now about me, and what does he has inside his mind. I make every people that close with me run away from me. I decide too fast, I decide in rush, I decide in selfish, I decide in cruel, I decide in bias, I decide with only the "I" point of view. How dare I am too close to step upon your destiny?  Let me deliver something that he has to...

I come home and sit back to the bed that seems like says "Ah there you are!" a lot things happen for this past 3 months, sometimes is just bubbling on my head and I just can't help it. I speak to my friend the one that know myself better about my dreams. Virtually I never met him, just ocasionally I met in a small cafe talking about what we want in the future especially about education. Marriage? Marriage is not something that I am looking for right now. Is not my big deal in my 25, oh god why do I love this track so much. I play FKJ 10 years ago, feels like I am coming to my hometown and sit on my favorite desk in my cozy bedroom. I wish I can see FKJ concert again, I miss him a lot, I miss the vibes, the people around, all the track and everything. Back to reality, I'm staying in my small room here in Jakarta. Last year I earned so much, I have so much opportunity that takes me into something bigger. Thank you god, thank you for showing me that dreams are still aliv...

I was in a rush, to get home after office it is Monday afternoon today pretty sure it is. I spent lot and lot in office but I guess I did not realize some condition around myself are little bit dizzy and I break my mind into pieces. Well, I started to listen some songs that reminds me of beautiful soul. Why don't we become the kind person that have a sunshine soul? I am scrolling through my screen, little smile when I read the quotes is just beautiful, I do not know the title is simple is just "Sunshine Soul" I don't even know what does it mean? If I figured it out myself I believe a sunshine soul is a beautiful soul that we have inside us.  This year will end very soon, I take a look again to myself where do I start since I've been here, asking myself what was I made for since I was born, how tackle every obstacles and adventures in front of me, behind me, or at the future. Being a human is tricky, sometimes we cruel, sometimes full of ambition, sometimes we for...

Hidup tetap berjalan dengan semestinya, maha baiknya masih memberikanku umur sampai saat ini. Orang datang dan pergi tapi aku yakin beberapa tetap tinggal, tidak banyak menampilkan sesuatu, tidak banyak mencari sesuatu, yang aku tetap cari hanya sebuah keinginan untuk bermimpi dari balik jendela kamar kos kecil ini. Menjadikan setiap lembaran buku kusut terlipat itu, menjadi buah mimpiku kelak. Aku hanya memohon pada hadiah ulang tahunku kemarin, menuntut ilmu tidak ada batasnya, menuntut ilmu tidak ada waktu terbaik ataupun terlambat. Terima kasih, aku telah diberikan kesehatan, kesabaran, serta kekuatan untuk menjalani hari esok dengan lebih baik. Sungguh aku tidak banyak meminta, tolong hadirkan saja orang-orang yang mencintaiku apa adanya dengan tulus, lembut, dan bijaksana seperti mendengarkan album "Just Piano" favoritku. Penuh dengan nada indah, tidak terburu-buru dan mencerminkan ketenangan.  Kita tidak dapat mengubah cara seseorang berperilaku kepada kita, tapi kita ...

It's 2pm at the office I was vividly remember the feeling, since last night I had a nightmare that shock me a lot. I do not know what do I suppose to do when I have a desire to write, so here she is writing something.  Dalam perjalanan pulang menuju "sanctuary" setelah menyelasaikan hariku, dan salah satu kewajiban yang sedang aku emban ini. Aku teringat beberapa ucapan orang-orang baik yang menyempurnakan hariku sebelum menutup mata.  "Kalul" "goodluck" "iloveu" "u always did something great" Little smile upon my face, and then I remember one thing every time I could not forget about the feeling of scared, insecure, small mindset, doubting myself, fear, fragile. I am trying my best to overcome the feeling. Still I am a human, I can not avoid all of them in a sudden.  Pretty little things I read one note on the page  by Mhagungs IG Post,  universe gave me "a note"  Dear Lj You live in this world is not to impress someone ...