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OPEN THIS WALL & SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN

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Ada sesuatu yang ngga berubah dari Lulu, kalo dilihat dari beberapa tulisannya yg bisa dibilang biasa aja yes betul sekali sangat biasa aja dari tahun 2018, dia cuman bisa menuangkan pikirannya jadi satu tulisan. Ada juga orang beranggapan bahwa Lulu cocoknya jadi penulis, well I have no idea to write anything except my life journey and my persfective during enjoying my life hmm. Akhir-akhir ini beberapa mimpi tentang masa depan terus dateng dan yes terus berputar, entah harus dikasih apa dan mulai darimana but I hope with write I can put it here and remembering that dreams are alive. Ada diposisi ini sungguh menakutkan, didekap oleh mimpi itu menakutkan, bahkan ketika mimpi itu mulai terasa nyata itu lebih menakutkan.  Buku-buku fiksi berjejer rapih di rak itu udah gue selesain, entah ada berapa. Tapi cerita didalemnya selalu bikin imajinasi ini terasah. Contoh, bukunya ceritain perjalanan di Croatia, jalan-jalan besar di New York, atau hidup santai di Tuscany, dan buku yang lagi ...
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WAY OUT

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Gambar
Make sure when you guys reading this page, you listen to the song that I suggest you should! Take your time to enjoy the vibration by Vincent Fenton I known him as FKJ. Bet on this long night and fatigue all most all day everyday, when you are hard to sleep and hard to get up. What are you doing, I am sitting nearby the bed, collecting papers on my table, gathered them into a small poetry, and story, being round and round in good and unpredictable, you just need one song. Tonight this half France guy showed up on my playlist, that randomly staying not premium. After you take the medicine, try to eat something, but still you can not bounce back to the bed and closed your eyes perfectly, and it's been with you for almost 15 days. When you totally hate hospital, and the library just chaos.  Way Out - FKJ (play this while you read the small pieces of art of mine, I just love my words, sentences, random paragraph, little notes, quotes on a book that waiting for me to finish, and sealed ...
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DREAM HIGH

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Unfamiliar either familiar song comes through my playlist on a shuffle, since I leave my spotify playing random song every single of it just go with advertising.  When I crossing usual small street to my house. The song come from 2011, dream high the series from South Korea, I'm just an elementary student back then 11 years. Amaze the old me is always watch Korean Drama, and it's okay for sure nothing wrong. I and my sister always buy a DVD to the market that only we can arrived by a local transport we called "Angkot" unlucky us the "Angkot" just show up every once by an hour. The price is 5k each DVD, if you want to buy a good one, you have to buy 30k for better experience to watch your Korean Drama. We always run in a marathon when it comes to good movie. I still vividly remember what the hell my sister is watching till 4am. Just by today, I remember good old days with her.  I just had a convo with her, she is born by 93' and she is amazing, I love her...
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MATILDA

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Wake up by 6:30am while seeing my phone ringing so loud, and I am shocked by what was happened in my dreams, pretty much I can not remember it vividly. I see somewhere I am standing, and joining a small ceremony. But, what it is? I do not know either I could not remember any single story. Weird, it's so weird but I wake up sweaty and so hot, my air conditioning is stand by on 20 degree.  Last day on vacation time, today is Wednesday. We got to go back to work tomorrow, and yeah I am ready to rock my Thursday. Wow, I read a lot, I write a lot, drafting a lot, and watch some YT videos that causing me types "Jazz while reading" or "Library and writing letters" or "Rain outside and you wait a train" what an indie person. Is fun tho! Realizing that time is slowing down here, or the world just keep turning slowly?  Snatch me out! Raining outside all day long since last night, I have one appointment to grab some coffee, and by 7pm I got to see the doctor, tru...
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THIS GRIEF IS ONCE LOVE

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Semarang, 23rd January 2025 Probably I was on the train heading from town to town yesterday, having lunch and dinner in somewhere. But my mind still rounding there, on the last room I attend, the feeling? Yes, I still there stood still in the room full of good memories. Last night I am thinking about this title, letter that I wanted to write, I am sit in front of the huge mirror in the Hotel Room I stayed. Reading some books, and do small meeting even I know my brain was not there.  The last two chapters in past six month. I held a champagne problem on June 2024, when we met in Bandung we talked about our journey you told me the girl will marriage soon or later. You asked me to forgive and forget the story between you and the girl. You know what's hard? You do it nearby your house, you cross the line. The most dangerous line, once I thought it will not ever crossed again. But it is. I know how long the path is crossing between you and her, would everything will be different today?...
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YLANG YLANG

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Dear god, never have I ever imagined I want to meet you right away in middle of the night. I am happy to hear Ylang Ylang by FKJ playing on my laptop. Dear god can I ask you a question to show me the way and help me out like FKJ found his soul.  God, let me bothering you with my thoughts, let me suffer through every conditions that I deserved in this world. God I make a messy situations along the line. Let me gone through the surface and live something between the line.  What do I live in here, in this world?  Why do I still here? While makes someone disappointed and really falling down the line? I do not know what does he thinks right now about me, and what does he has inside his mind. I make every people that close with me run away from me. I decide too fast, I decide in rush, I decide in selfish, I decide in cruel, I decide in bias, I decide with only the "I" point of view. How dare I am too close to step upon your destiny?  Let me deliver something that he has to...
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10 YEARS AGO

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I come home and sit back to the bed that seems like says "Ah there you are!" a lot things happen for this past 3 months, sometimes is just bubbling on my head and I just can't help it. I speak to my friend the one that know myself better about my dreams. Virtually I never met him, just ocasionally I met in a small cafe talking about what we want in the future especially about education. Marriage? Marriage is not something that I am looking for right now. Is not my big deal in my 25, oh god why do I love this track so much. I play FKJ 10 years ago, feels like I am coming to my hometown and sit on my favorite desk in my cozy bedroom. I wish I can see FKJ concert again, I miss him a lot, I miss the vibes, the people around, all the track and everything. Back to reality, I'm staying in my small room here in Jakarta. Last year I earned so much, I have so much opportunity that takes me into something bigger. Thank you god, thank you for showing me that dreams are still aliv...
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